some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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