I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
