my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
