"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
