I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
