Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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