You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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