Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
