Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
