Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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