I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
whose ass print is on the piano?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
