I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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