he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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