Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
