she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
