i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
