Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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