tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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