Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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