i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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