i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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