I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
