absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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