So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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