if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize