I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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