Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
