her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
