I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
