We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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