Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
