is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
