You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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