Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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