Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
