Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
