My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
