You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
