I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize