how can u be prego again
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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