he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
