honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im holly from the hills drunk
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
