I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
