your parents love me but you hate me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
