I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He felt like a one man threesome
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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