Welp...herpes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
