What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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