Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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