I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
