He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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