I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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