yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
