12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
