I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
