he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
