no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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