just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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