careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
